LARS Von Trier's sexually-explicit horror film Antichrist is brilliant and is being attacked by people who probably haven't even seen it, according to a man who hasn't seen it.
Film critic Dan Hodgkinson, of purelyhypotheticalfilmnews.com, has been enraptured by the film since not seeing it several days ago.
Writing on his website, he said: "There's loads of scary stuff in some woods, talking foxes and shit like that. Quite a bit of boobage.
"It's all spooky for a bit and then this massive dinosaur turns up and starts having a fight with a giant moth. Then Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg go all batshit and turn into a pair of giant robot with bazookas for arms."
He added: "The cast are all brilliant, particularly the little guy from Diff'rent Strokes who plays an evil badger.
"It is worth bearing in mind that I haven't actually seen it. But I've given this a bunch of thought, and that's more or less what it's like."
Hodgkinson's comments come in a week when a number of other critics who haven't seen the film were disgusted by it.
Daily Mail critic Marcus Phillips said: "I was actually physically sick while sitting at home during the press screening.
"It simply beggars belief that Lars Von Trier should be allowed to make me imagine the kind of sick, kinky, Satanic images of coquettish, doe-eyed young girls defiling themselves with bits of shrub that fill my mind when I think about what this film's probably like."
He added: "If you'll excuse me, I must nip to the bathroom."