A WOMAN has turned eight years of incessant bitching about her friend’s partner into a best-selling book.
After Holly Turnbull split amicably from her long-term boyfriend, Nikki Hollis produced the 100,000-word book on how he was never good enough for her in 72 hours.
Hollis said: “If I had to name my literary influences I’d say Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, the essays of Gloria Steinem and the first side of Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morrissette.”
Hollis is now in talks for the film rights to He Looks Like a Pervert Anyway. Producers say it will be the 50 Shades of Grey of silently fuming at someone else’s happiness.
Turnbull said: “My ex and Nikki went on a couple of dates about five years ago but he wasn’t that keen.”
Hollis added: “That’s not true, you’re remembering that wrong. Probably because you’ve been through so much emotional abuse.”
The author’s next book will be a soaring epic on how Kathy at work always gets picked for business trips and how Hollis would also have been promoted twice in 18 months if she was a total slut.