TONY Blair has described in detail what Star Wars should have been like, despite no one asking for his opinion.
After sharing his views on Brexit with Andrew Marr, Blair went on to the 1977 film Star Wars as “shit” and claimed he had “more brilliant ideas while cleaning my teeth than George Lucas has had in his lifetime”.
Blair said: “Instead of the Death Star planet I’d have had a massive spaceship that sucks in planets and fires them out like a ping-pong gun. It’s called the Pingatron.
“The Empire is rubbish, so I’d have a new enemy called ‘the Dictatorship’ led by the evil Knorr Twarkin. It’s important to remind people that standing up to dictators is always the right thing to do.”
Blair then described a plot outline involving a space dragon, Ewok politics and a charismatic young Jedi called Blare Spacerider.
He added: “I’ve got so many ideas I could write all the new spin-offs as well. You could get all the medical droids and do a sort of robot Holby City in space.”