PARENTS have ordered their children to love the new series of The Clangers or find somewhere else to live.
The reboot of the classic show about mouse-like aliens who eat soup starts next week and excited parents across the country have warned that it will be mandatory viewing.
Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “It will be charming and magical.
“They’ve even got Michael Palin doing the voiceover. It’s like a wonderful dream that makes me feel as if life hasn’t quite succeeded in crushing me under its gigantic, cast iron heel.
“Anyway, I’ve told my four year-old son that if he doesn’t like it then we’re probably not related which means that mummy was having an affair, we’re getting divorced and he will have to go and live in the attic of a derelict hospital.”
Four year-old Sam Bishop said: “I saw the trailer and it looks awful. But I lie all the time anyway, so this won’t be a stretch. I imagine there will also be a tedious avalanche of branded merchandise.
“If he asks me to do the Soup Dragon noise in front of my grandparents, I will leave. I’m not some dancing monkey.”