THE English language has the largest vocabulary in the world, but the favourite words of demure Countdown lexicographer Susie Dent are the ones you’d least expect. Such as these:
Clunge hammer
Yes, it’s technically two words, but bookish academics like myself aren’t anal. This word pairs clunge, which dates back to the 1970s, with the proto-Germanic term ‘hamerzeug’ to describe a man’s penis. The implication here being that the penis would like to repeatedly pound away on the aforementioned clunge with the rhythmic action of a striking hammer, which I find beautifully evocative.
F**kface
As far as we know, ‘f**k’ is an early 16th century word of German origin that has been used liberally ever since its invention. You’re probably familiar with words like ‘f**kstain’, ‘f**kwit’ and ‘motherf**ker’, for example. F**kface is my favourite though because of its delightful fricative alliteration that trips off the tongue. Go on, try saying it to yourself. ‘F**kface’. Fun, isn’t it?
Growler
This word for vagina has fallen out of favour in recent years, which is a real shame. It’s understandable though, due to the fierce competition of other words such as pussy, quim, fanny, snatch and twat, to name a few. There’s a lot to be said for growler though. It suggests something rough and ready, which is how I like it.
Cum dumpster
A relative newcomer to the English language, this one. It’s used to describe a promiscuous woman who engages in unprotected sexual intercourse with multiple men. The implication here being that sperm is deposited inside her much like rubbish is disposed of in a dumpster. If you wanted to use it in a sentence, you could say: ‘Your mother is a right cum dumpster.’
Queef
Words for flatulence often sound disgusting. Take, fart, guff and trump, for example. Queef on the other hand almost sounds like queen, which is posh and dignified. This makes it perfectly suited to describing the zephyrs of trapped gas escaping from a woman’s vagina during sex and exercise. I let out half a dozen thunderous queefs during my Origins of Words segment, but because I’m not miked up down there you never hear them. Thank God.
