Coffee machine to join heavy metal band

THE coffee machine from a local cafe-bar is to join a heavy metal band, it has been confirmed.

The unlikely hook-up happened after the band Anathema dropped in to discuss album titles and heard just how ear-bleedingly loud the machine was.

Singer Stephen Malley said: “We had been looking for a way to make our sound somehow louder. When we visited that cafe for a brew and heard just how deafening that coffee machine was, we had to get it on board.

“I drew up a contract there and then, on a napkin.”

The coffee machine, currently working at City Cafe in Luton, will make aggressive grinding and whirring noises on Anathema’s new album Demon Fetus.

Cafe owner Mary Fisher added: “It’ll be a shame to see it go but you can’t stand in the way of your staff’s dreams.

“We’ve just asked it to send us some photos from its adventures on tour with the band. Nothing too explicit of course, we know what these musicians get up to on tour.”