Cultural thing weirdly not in London

A CULTURAL event is unaccountably taking place outside of London, it has emerged.

A production of Brecht’s Mother Courage is being staged in a so-called theatre in Leeds, despite the fact that Leeds is over 200 miles from London and cannot be reached by underground train. 

Jane Thompson, from Stratford, said: “I heard it got good reviews, so I thought I might pop down after work. Then I found out it would take me four hours to drive there. What is this, Dulwich?

“What the hell are they thinking, putting on a play where nobody can see it?”

Thompson’s friend Wayne Hayes said: “I’m outraged they’re taking a perfectly good play outside of London while I have to make do with whatever’s on in the theatres, drama studios and other performing arts spaces located within a mile of my house.

“I expect the costumes and loud noises will make the not-London people startled and upset. I wouldn’t be surprised if they all fell to their knees and began worshipping the stage.”

Leeds resident Stephen Malley said: “Of course we get cultural stuff in Leeds. We had Macbeth here in 2008.”