A MAN who has benefited from constantly rising property prices somehow believes it is due to his excellent business skills.
Cafe owner Norman Steele, 56, feels the ridiculously high £525,000 value of his three-bedroom home can only be the result of his shrewd eye for an investment.
Steele said: “Clearly when I bought the house 30 years ago I subconsciously realised it would be worth a fortune later on.
“People might say it’s just luck, but actually I was playing a skilful game of paying my mortgage and carefully monitoring the property market by reading the Daily Express.
“I’ve made a huge return on what I paid originally, so if I start doing loads of other business deals with the same rate of profitability I’ll soon have a luxury yacht full of women in bikinis.
“Perhaps I’ll play the stock market because I watched Trading Places and know you should ‘buy low, sell high’.”
He added: “I admit when I invested in a burger van with my mate Kenny we both ended up two grand out of pocket, but how was I to know you’d need some stupid licence from the council?”