FATHERS have warned family members not to buy them any film that involves Ben Affleck.
With Fathers’ Day approaching, middle-aged men are anticipating gifts of unimaginative action films on DVD but stressed that they strongly dislike Ben Affleck.
46-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “I do not recognise Ben Affleck as a legitimate screen hero.
“He has the sort of bland good looks that Hollywood studios think appeal to both men and women, however I only want to see his perpetually-disappointed face on screen if he’s getting pushed out of a plane in the opening scene.
“I can do Eastwood, Neeson, and Damon at a push. But not The Martian because that is just a man gardening in a big tent.”
Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “Affleck is a knob, he thinks he’s ace but he looks like a burly supply teacher.
“And please don’t try to elevate my tastes with Interstellar because it’s like a Disney version of 2001 and now that I’m quite old it is possibly longer than the rest of my life.
“I’d quite like the that Steven Seagal film where a boat blows up. It might be called Exploding Boat.”