Daniel Craig unmanly for carrying baby, say fans unaware that Bond made quiche

JAMES Bond fans criticising Daniel Craig for carrying a baby are totally unaware that their hero cooked a quiche in A View To A Kill. 

The fans, who believe that James Bond is actually real and the actor who pretends to be him every four years should behave accordingly, appear to have overlooked the key moment of the 1985 film.

Cinema writer Nathan Muir said: “He doesn’t just eat it. He dons the apron and makes it, then serves it up with a bashful smile.

“It’s implied that he has sex with the girl involved, but it would probably be right-on-style 80s sex with an emphasis on caring foreplay and the importance of contraception.

“You can still get in a gunfight while wearing a baby harness, but you can’t when you’re wearing oven gloves to bring your aubergine-and-feta quiche garnished with black olives to the table.

“Also, in 2002’s Die Another Day, he goes for a sit-down wee. Take that, Piers Morgan.”