THE row over faith-based meat has escalated with Anglicans demanding that packaging shows an image of Jesus eating a large sausage.
The Archbishop of Canterbury insisted secular meat is no longer feasible and that supermarket shoppers should be able identify Muslim meat, Christian meat, Hindu meat and Voodoo meat.
He said: Jesus wanted everyone to enjoy meat, particularly sausages. It was the main reason he was crucified.
I fully respect Islamic meat faith, Hindu beef dogma and the Jewish Sin of Bacon, as well as Buddhist meat-free reincarnation magic and the Voodoo chicken thing.
But Christians deserve the same respect for their meat religion.
He added: As for how the animals are killed, Im not a vet, but have we tried hitting them over the head with a large, metal cross?
Like I say, Im not a vet.
Meanwhile, supermarkets have offered a compromise which would involve meat packing showing a photo of the abattoir employee who killed the animal.
Tom Logan, a marketing consultant, said: We could have a picture of Brian giving a big thumbs-up, accompanied by a few words telling us something about him – he’s married to Helen, he enjoys cycling and his favourite film is You’ve Got Mail.
But some consumers may not be Brian fans and would prefer to eat animals killed by Alan or Sarah or Geoff.
They could follow their favourites on social media and have conventions every year where they gather at a three-star hotel and watch Geoff kill a pony.