BREAST-THEMED poetry by the teenage Rudyard Kipling has been unearthed in a Manhattan home.
Poetry critic Emma Bradford said: “Pubescent boys of Kipling’s era were highly repressed and wrote breast poetry as a means of releasing their exuberance.
“The main themes are typically bouncing and jiggling.”
The poem ‘Big Knockers’ opens: “Cor, look at them/Big knockers/Heaving fruits of love/They shall be emblazoned on my mind’s eye/Until bedtime.”
FORMER MP Louise Mensch’s new online venture is a role-playing game set in the kingdom of Menschitania.
World of Menschcraft takes place in a fantasy land ruled by the wisest and most beautiful queen imaginable, who is strong-minded and fair but not afraid to dress sexily if the mood is right.
While similar in format to existing role-playing games, Menschcraft has already been criticised for never allowing players to become as good as Queen Louise. For example, players may enter Menschitania’s weekly beauty contest, but it can only ever be won by the queen.
Online gaming addict Tom Logan said: Last week my party fought its way through a goblin-filled dungeon in search of a ‘magical book’ which turned out to be dreadful chick-lit.
Theres also a problem with level-grinding because you can earn thousands of points simply by sitting at a forge making statues of Queen Louise.
The games developers have released an expansion pack, Death of the Patriarchs, in which players must kill a group of blue-skinned orcs who fail to realise how talented Queen Louise is.
Tom Logan said: For some reason, the game rewards you with ‘wisdom points’ if you buy The Menschitania Times and read Queen Louise’s opinions on heels versus flats.
However I quite liked the mission where you collect vials of magic powder so that Queen Louise can give you a tedious lecture about drugs.
