Everyone finally able to admit Roger Moore was best Bond

ROGER Moore was the best Bond even if it was never cool to say that, everyone has admitted.

Bond fans have always felt obliged to say Sean Connery or Daniel Craig was their favourite, because that is somehow considered to be cleverer.

However following Moore’s death they admitted have always been lying to themselves, and Live and Let Die is clearly the best Bond film.

Cinemagoer Emma Bradford said: “Roger Moore was the only one who clearly understood that the whole Bond thing was totally absurd, but then just had fun with it rather than being all moody.

“But he could also do the tough guy stuff like kicking shit out of Jaws and that guy with the hook.”

She added: “Sean Connery was cool too but he’s a bit of a safe choice and never went on a spaceship.

“Meanwhile Daniel Craig just seems like a moody, insanely muscular diva and Quantum of Bollocks is absolutely the worst Bond film ever.”

Fellow Bond fan Wayne Hayes said: “Sorry this came a bit late, Roger. But you were cool as fuck, especially in that clearly unviable amphibious car.”

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Humanity levels raised to 'high'

LEVELS of kindness and co-operation across the UK have been raised to their highest point in recent history.

Responding to events in Manchester, all types of British people have confirmed that humanity levels have been increased from ‘normal’ to ‘high’, offering free accommodation, unpaid taxi rides and other forms of selfless assistance.

Taxi driver Roy Hobbs said: “Nobody’s actually told us to increase our humanity level, it just sort of happened.

“It feels as if people genuinely want to help people, which is quite the opposite of what you might think if you regularly read certain newspapers.

“This level of humanity is definitely a threat to troublemakers, extremists and right-wing journalists who think they look hard in photos with their arms folded.”

Shopkeeper Nikki Hollis said: “At ‘normal’ humanity level I think I should probably become a blood donor, but today I am going to do it.”

She added: “I think humans are actually alright.”