IF you want to feel distressed and unhappy you could watch the new series of The Handmaid’s Tale, or you could slam your hand in a drawer 78 times. Here are some other ideas.
Have a Saw marathon
It’s easier to immerse yourself in misery with straightforward torture porn than a quality TV anxiety fest. Also the latter is far more likely to keep you awake at night than the head-ripping-off machine in Saw 2.
Go to a boot camp class
You’ll feel breathless, sick and want to kill yourself, just like you do after watching The Handmaid’s Tale, but the exercise will do you good.
Listen to Morrissey on repeat
The music of Morrissey often makes you feel as if you want to lie down and die, and his political beliefs are increasingly fascist, so you’ll feel like you’re in Gilead already, just minus the haunting visuals.
Watch the news
Current events are a terrifying dystopia but at least this one is real and you aren’t just shitting yourself up for ‘entertainment’. It’s also useful to keep an eye on what’s happening, in case Britain goes full Trump and you might get put in a camp.
Punch yourself in the face
It’s traumatic, upsetting and self-inflicted, just like watching The Handmaid’s Tale. However at worst you’ll have a painful black eye or lose a tooth, so it’s very much the cheeriest option.