Five TV shows that will be problematic in 10 years' time

IT’S only a matter of time until your viewing habits are cancelled by your kids and you’re declared a wrong ’un. Here are five shows that will age badly over the next decade.

Peep Show

A programme told literally from the male gaze won’t stand a chance, no matter how ironic. First they’ll ban the episodes where Mark and Jez burn a dog and stalk a woman, and before you know it the whole series will be taken off All 4. 

Life on Mars

Surprisingly not because of Gene Hunt’s backward attitudes, which will be considered a totally realistic documentary-like portrayal of the police in the 70s and 80s . Instead, the show will be binned because it glamourises being in a coma, which is kind of a big twist so maybe don’t read this if you haven’t seen it yet.

The Great British Bake Off

From our point of view it’s twee and harmless, but future generations will write it off because the judges are always really wasteful when it comes to tasting food. Anyone who ever watched and enjoyed the show will be forced to undergo corrective aversion therapy like at the end of A Clockwork Orange.

Mastermind

This nerve-racking quiz show is the opposite of a safe space. First the music puts the willies up the contestants – it’s even called ‘Approaching Menace’ – then they’re put under extreme pressure by scary John Humphrys. It’s basically an anxiety attack disguised as entertainment. 

Countryfile

Easily the most problematic show ever made, sugar coating the systematic oppression of livestock in our nation’s farms. Plus it’s boring as f**k and you and your girlfriend only watched it to objectify Matt Baker or Kate Humble.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Five ways Boris Johnson will f**k up getting his jab

WITH Boris Johnson set to get his first dose of the Oxford vaccine, here’s how he’ll turn getting a jab into the latest of his long line of f**k-ups.

Shaking hands

Having learnt nothing from his near-death experience last year, the prime minister will strut around the vaccination centre shaking hands with people. Seeing nurses looking on in horror, our blustering leader will swiftly correct himself by popping a face mask over his mouth but not his nose.

Cracking jokes about murderers

Medical appointments make everyone nervous, including the prime minister. To lighten the mood, Johnson will resort to the comedy staple of struggling comedians and make a gag about a high-profile murderer. Then wonder why everyone looks awkward when he says to the doctor administering the jab: ‘Hope you’re not Harold Shipman!’

Presenting his arse

With his knowledge of medicine extending only to a viewing of Carry On Nurse, Johnson will think it’s entirely appropriate to drop his trousers and get his arse out for the vaccination. He may well also mutter ‘Ooh matron’ and ask if he is going to feel a little prick, causing a nurse to cringe and laugh awkwardly.

Making a problematic quip

Now that the EU has resumed using the Oxford vaccine, the prime minister won’t be able to resist the opportunity to stick the knife in while getting jabbed. Expect him to wave a little Union Jack and say ‘Take that, Fritz!’ as the needle goes in, making trade negotiations with the EU even more difficult than they already are.

Forgetting to get a second dose

The moment he’s out of the vaccine centre, Johnson will forget about the whole tedious vaccine business and keep doing his photo opportunities as if the virus doesn’t exist. This will set an example the rest of the nation will follow, and before you know it we’ll be back to square one again by Christmas.