BMW driver causes 10-car pile-up after unexpectedly using indicator

A MOTORIST caused a large accident after veering off the road in shock when the BMW in front of him indicated at a roundabout.

Martin Bishop was having a pleasant drive when he suddenly noticed the driver of the 5 Series with tinted windows informing other road users of his intention to turn left.

Bishop said: “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I was so surprised that I swerved onto the other side of the road.

“I hit another driver who’d stopped to take a photo of because it was such a rare occurrence. Before I knew it, eight other cars had shunted into me and all because one idiot in a BMW had decided to indicate.

“Nobody expects that sort of thing to happen when they’re driving – I hope the police clamp down on this wholly irresponsible behaviour.”

Nathan Muir, who was driving the BMW, said it was a perfectly innocent mistake.

He explained: “I hadn’t planned to signal. The sun had briefly gone behind a cloud and as I reached to turn on my extra-bright foglights I accidentally nudged the indicator.

“I can assure other motorists they won’t have to worry about me doing it again.”

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Knaves and guttersnipes: Jacob Rees-Mogg's guide to Victorian insults

JACOB Rees-Mogg has put a journalist in his place by calling him ‘either a knave or a fool’. Here he lists his utterly devastating insults for anyone who incurs his wrath. 

Scallywag and a rascal

Such stern words will cut like a hot knife through butter into any gentleman’s very soul. There’s no need to resort to any of the modern, gratuitous swears when you have such vicious words to hand.

Example: Only a scallywag and a rascal would maintain that mass ought not be celebrated in Latin!

Knave or a fool

Any self-respecting chap will reconsider their misdeeds if you attack their character thus. They will surely be crushed by so grievous an insult – though do use such strong language sparingly.

Example: How dare you say that ‘Sixtus’ is a ludicrous name for a child, you are a knave or a fool!

Wastrel and a wretch

Bring his bank balance into an argument and a gentleman will become livid. Implying that he doesn’t have access to inherited wealth accrued over generations will cut him to the core. 

Example: How dare you question our nanny’s parenting skills; you sir, are a wastrel and a wretch!

Ragamuffin and a guttersnipe

Going after a gentleman’s sartorial sense is callous indeed. But certain situations may call for such serious words to be uttered against one’s enemy.

Example: I will not have a ragamuffin and a guttersnipe tell me to stop lounging on the House of Commons benches.

Hornswoggler and a boor

One’s fox-fur gloves are truly off here. To label someone a cheat, while also calling into question the capabilities of their parents and their nanny by saying they’ve bad manners, is a powerful one-two punch indeed.

Example: How dare you imply my public persona is cynically crafted, you hornswoggler and boor!