Forsyth cracks America

IN a last minute change, CNN has ditched trainee journalist Piers Morgan in favour of Bruce Forsyth.

'I can't wait to give the UN secretary general the chance to go for the car!'

Forsyth petitioned the cable news giant with an eight hour showreel that came with a box of Cadbury’s Heroes and a covering letter detailing all the ways in which he was more of an all-round entertainer than Morgan.

Larry King Live producer Robyn Davies said: “Bruce wrote a very powerful letter reminding us that Piers can’t sing, can’t dance and just has one of those faces that you could spend all day hitting with a brick.”

Forsyth has been trying to crack America for 63 years and had believed his chance had gone when each of the major networks passed on his live, celebrity version of Play Your Cards Right.

Davies added: “The showreel demonstrated that Bruce had no journalistic skills, his jokes stink like a follow-through in an old folks’ home and he’s a massive ham. And he’s also much cheaper than Piers Morgan.

“Piers was upset at first, but then reminded me that he has lots of powerful friends and that nothing could stop him now.”

The new show will be called Nice to See America, to See America Nice and the first guest will be President Barack Obama.

Forsyth said: “I hope he will enjoy my impersonation of Sammy Davies Jnr.”