Getting wasted in tent declared highlight of Glastonbury
THE best thing at Glastonbury was getting smashed in your tent, it has emerged.
A poll of attendees found that two per cent named Kanye West as their personal highlight, with 11 per cent choosing Lionel Richie and 68 per cent opting for lying around fucked with their feet sticking out of the tent.
22-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “Florence and the Machine were really good, at least that’s what I heard from some people walking past. I was off my tits in my budget Millets tent.”
Student Emma Bradford said: “When you’re at Glastonbury it’s like some of the biggest names in music are in the same field, but it’s a really big field that takes ages to walk across.
“That’s why it’s best to stay sprawled on your sleeping bag getting hammered.”
Cobbler Stephen Malley said: “You could argue that if you’re just going to sit in a tent getting on it, you could erect one in your garden and save a few hundred quid.
“But tent-based carnage is so much better if you’re on a ley line with the distant drums of what could equally be the Chemical Brothers or Patti Smith vaguely audible in the background.”