THE Glastonbury festival has revealed Hale and Pace and the Crazy Frog will be next year’s headliners, moments after tickets sold out in record time.
As desperate fans paid out hundreds of pounds without knowing any of the acts, organiser Michael Eavis predicted a ‘celebration to rival the Olympics’.
He added “I cant wait to see Hale and Pace, I hope they do The Stonk.
Also appearing will be St Winifreds School Choir, famous for their hit Theres No One Quite Like Grandma. Choir member Donna Sheridan said: We probably wont play that one. Weve got some great songs on our new album that we cant wait to sing.
The Crazy Frog, said: A ding ding ding ding d-ding ding ding ding ding d-ding ding ding ding d-ding d-ding d-ding ding ding ding ding ding.”
Eavis said that from next year all festival food will be provided by Ginsters, adding: “Glastonbury is renowned for its eclectic food offering and so the pasties will be available in both cheese and onion and meat.”
The festival is also relocating from Mr Eaviss idyllic Somerset farm to an Asda car park on the edge of Taunton.
The festival will still be surrounded by a twelve foot security fence, but instead of deterring gatecrashers, it will be used to stop ticketholders escaping.
Tom Logan, who bought a ticket on Sunday, said: At least it’s not fucking Mumford and Sons.