THE music industry is booming, not that you’d know. Here are the monumentally famous artists passing you by:
BTS
The mega stars of K-Pop whose last album sold five million copies alone, despite the fact you’ve never heard of them and you just had to Google ‘what is K-Pop’. It might be worth checking them out to stay up to date culturally, although if tweenage girls find out they will consider you creepy and report your social media.
Olivia Rodrigo
Olivia Rodrigo is best known for the songs Drivers Licence, Brutal and Upside Down Tennis. Well, not that last one. But you didn’t know because you have no clue who she is. She’s described as a voice of Generation Z, which is the perfect excuse to ignore her and keep listening to the Now 42 CD in your car, which has the Vengaboys on.
Lil Nas X
Considering the last gig you went to was an Oasis tribute act band at the Bricklayers Arms, it’s unsurprising you haven’t heard of America’s premier gay rap icon. How about his hit Old Town Road featuring Billy Ray Cyrus? No? Christ, even your nan does the boot-scootin’ boogie to this banger at her line dancing club. Get with the times mate.
Halsey
An American singer songwriter whose songs were streamed over six billion times last year. But not in your house. You only listen to Absolute Radio 80s while knocking around the kitchen in your pants. Meanwhile Halsey’s being laden with award after award. It’s hard to tell who’s making the better life choices.
Megan Thee Stallion
A Texan rapper who collaborated on one of the most famous songs and videos of the decade. If you don’t know which song we mean then for God’s sake don’t play it while your kids are around. Not because the title is so rude they had to abbreviate it, but because they would die of shame as you asked about ‘twerking’.
Luke Combs
He might look like a hungover truck driver, but Luke Combs is actually the current poster boy for popular country music. He’s the latest in a line of denim-clad, stadium-stuffing musicians who all weirdly seem to have two first names. Heard of Luke Bryan, Kenny Chesney or Toby Keith? No. Thank f**k.
