Harry Potter Saga 'All A Dream' Says Rowling

HARRY Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that the last sentence of the final volume in the seven book series will be "and then I woke up and it had all been a dream".

Writing on her website JK Rowling said she thought the final line was a really neat and clever way to finish the lengthy series, which "had got a bit far fetched, and much too wizardy".

She said: "It ties up all the loose ends in one go while also revealing the utter futility of Harry Potter’s existence. I really think it’s quite deep."

The ending to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will show Harry to be a perfectly normal teenage boy, studying at the City Academy in Gateshead, who just dreamt he was a wizard after falling asleep during a double Creationism lesson last thing on a muggy Wednesday afternoon, Rowling said.

"I considered lots of last sentences but in the end it came down to the dream one or 'they all lived happily ever after' which ran it a very close second," she added.



The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkein "He drew up a deep breath. 'Well I’m back', he said."
JK says: "What a totally shit way to end a really long work of fantasy fiction. Dull, dull , dull. This guy should have read one of mine before he fired up his word processor."

Ulysses by James Joyce "and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes."
JK says: "Is this guy on drugs? The punctuation is rubbish. Why couldn't he just pay some Indians to stick a few commas in?"

The Outsider by Albert Camus "For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate."
JK says: "That's just plain nasty, and far too French."

On the Road by Jack Kerouac "I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty."
JK says: "I think I'm going to throw up. This guy ended his life a penniless drunk, while I'm rich enough to buy Perthshire. I think that says it all."

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Britain And America To See Other Countries

BRITAIN and America have announced a trial separation during which they will be free to see other countries. 

Tensions have been building between the two since the ill-fated decision to buy and refurbish a run-down Middle Eastern state together.

What started out as a simple, cosmetic renovation, with very little in the way of plumbing or electrical work, has become a hellish multi-trillion dollar nightmare which threatens to destroy civilisation.

Wayne Hayes, professor of geopolitics at Dundee University, said: "The 'special-relationship' had some great times, especially that weekend in Barcelona.

"But now they see us as an aircraft carrier with shops and we see them as a bunch of swivel-eyed morons. We all need a break." 

America has drawn up a shortlist of countries it wants to spend some time with, including Australia, Argentina and even Iran for a bit of "dirty, crazy fun".

Meanwhile Britain may look to France with it's new leader and his gorgeous wife or the "unbearably cute" South Korea.

But more adventurous members of the government want Britain to spend time with Brazil, stressing that although there maybe a language problem, "at least we'll learn to dance".