Holly Willoughby hasn't stopped saying f**k yet

FRIENDS of Holly Willoughby have confirmed she has spent the four days since quitting This Morning releasing 14 years’ worth of expletives.

The presenter’s method approach to hosting Britain’s most anodyne show means she has not allowed the word ‘f**k’ to pass her lips since September 2009, despite numerous provocations.

Her personal assistant said: “Holly faxed over her resignation on Tuesday night. ‘Well, that’s f**king that,’ she said, taking us both aback, but after that the floodgates opened.

“She’s literally unable to speak a sentence without at least four f**ks in. ‘I’ll f**king take the f**king dog the f**k out for a f**king walk, shall I?’ is only the most recent.

“And that’s when she’s trying. Mostly she’s muttering ‘f**k, f**k, f**k’ in a constant low stream, recalling every boring recipe or moronic makeover she had to smile through.

“We believe she’s currently reliving 2015. When we get to 2017, when she discovered her salary was only one-third of Phillip Schofield’s, we’re sending the kids away for a few days.”

Willoughby said: “Once I’ve got this the f**k out of the way, I hope to present The f**king One Show.”

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