Jesus was the original Pokemon, claims Church of England
THE Church of England is attempting to attract younger people with a new version of the Bible which includes Pokemon.
At services across the UK, vicars have tweaked Bible readings to include references to the children’s game and erected weird-looking cardboard cut-outs of Jesus for the congregation to ‘catch’ with their mobile phones.
Reverend Julian Cooke said: “In many ways Jesus is the Pikachu of the Bible.
“Matthew and John were like the Professor and the gospels are guides that teach us how we can better manage our inner Poke Ball so that we may capture that rarest of Pokemon, God.
“We must search for God as we would a Sandslash or a Dragonite, with patience and love and striving for our entire lives to understand His complex plan.”
Wayne Hayes said: “When we realised the sign outside the church promising there were Pokemon inside was a lie, we got up to leave.
“The desperate vicar said that he’d create a PokeStop if we stayed.”