A NEW production of Romeo and Juliet featuring a black actress as Juliet has attracted racist abuse. Here bigot Roy Hobbs explains why the Bard wasn’t woke.
Juliet was definitely white
Look, I’ve seen Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet, which everyone knows is the definitive text, and that had Claire Danes in it. End of, mate. You can bang on as much as you like about different versions and interpretations, but if I haven’t seen it on telly while chugging my way through a six-pack of Carling, it doesn’t count. No, I don’t have any further arguments to justify this dimwitted bollocks, so stop asking.
Shakespeare didn’t write any plays about black people
I know my history, which is that no black person set foot in the UK until the Empire Windrush arrived in 1948. So Shakespeare would never have written a play about anyone who was not white, it’s impossible. What about Othello? Yeah, the board game, I’ve played it. Why do I think it’s called Othello? I don’t know, ask whoever invented it.
Society hasn’t changed that much since 1590
People spout a lot of rubbish about how much society has changed since Tudor times and why it’s important to reflect that, but are things really that different? Obviously there’s the internet and cars and space travel and democracy and stuff, but I’ve got gout, just like Henry VIII. Admittedly he might not have got his from only consuming Coca-Cola, Stella and microwave meals, but aside from that we could pretty much be the same man.
It doesn’t matter that it’s made up
Don’t come at me saying Shakespeare is fictional and can be reimagined however anyone wants it to be. There are rules about this sort of thing and you can’t go swapping in anyone you like, however good a performer they may be. The only fictional character I’ll concede there’s some leeway with is James Bond, because 007 is just a codename. Although to be honest I don’t like any of them except Sean Connery slapping gorgeous birds on the arse.
It’s beside the point that I would never have gone to see it anyway
If this hadn’t been whipped into a frenzy on social media by reactionary dickheads with nothing better to do with their time, I’d never have heard about it. It’s not like I attend the theatre on a regular basis. Or ever. But that doesn’t stop me sticking in my oar in. It never does, and I’ve got opinions on everything from trans healthcare to climate change. That’s the great thing about living in a democracy – you can have a strong opinion on anything you know f**k all about.
There was no gender-bending nonsense in those days
As well as changing the race of fictional characters willy-nilly, woke theatre companies love to put on gender-swapped versions of Shakespeare plays. Even though you can be certain that in his day they would never have stood for men playing women. That kind of non-binary madness only started recently, and I blame Ru Paul’s Drag Race and TikTok. Have I seen Shakespeare In Love? No. That sounds a bit gay.
