Lawrence of Arabia inevitably getting heap of shit remake

PETER O'TOOLECINEMA classic Lawrence of Arabia will inevitably get remade with Tom Cruise, Matt Damon or someone like that.

Hollywood insiders admitted that Peter O’Toole’s death had drawn their attention to an exceptionally brilliant ‘property’ ripe for ruining.

A spokesman said: “Lawrence of Arabia may be one of the greatest films in cinema history but it lacked product placement and characters designed to appeal across the marketing quadrants.

“For example Peter O’Toole was great but he acted kind of gay in places and lacked the muscle bulk required for an imposing screen presence.

“Also we’ll have Jack Black in Omar Sharif’s role, repeatedly falling off a camel called ‘Fartbreath’. And it’ll be in 3D. With ‘sand hobbits’.”