Luther moody because of haemorrhoids

TV COP Luther is moody and dangerous because his piles are giving him terrible grief, it has been revealed.

The surly, borderline-psychopathic detective has a notoriously short fuse and is prone to dangling suspects off of high things by their ankles.

Viewers had assumed that this was because of his wife’s death and other dark things from his past, but actually it is because his arse is very sore.

Series creator Neil Cross said: “Critics have said the show is excessively brutal, but you have to understand that Luther’s backside is absolutely killing him.

“Why else do you think he makes that face all the time?

“The piles thing is the major story arc this series. The evil cops trying to take Luther down discover this Achilles heel and hide his Preparation H.

“The combination of a fetishistic serial killer on the loose and a throbbing, un-anointed anus threaten to send Luther over the edge.

“Also he doggedly refuses to increase the amount of fibre in his diet.”

However Cross refused to reveal whether Luther would face his ultimate fear and go to hospital for the notoriously painful ‘piles operation’.

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The Labour-Falkirk controversy explained

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