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Our turn to be Europe's far-right bastards, say French

THE French have confirmed that, sick of being the victim, they are stepping up to be the continent’s premier xenophobic nationalists.

A commanding lead for Marine Le Pen’s National Rally party is only the beginning of a rising Gallic fascism movement their German neighbours do not feel they have the moral authority to stop.

Le Pen said: “Undoubtedly we’ve always known, as a nation, we were better than you. Now it’s time to enforce it.

“French fascism will be as superior as the maître d’ at Le Cinq, as cruel and unforgiving to the human body as a Givenchy couture collection, as disdainful of life as a New Wave film. You’ll hate it.

“Why should our country always be the battleground? Long, indefensible land borders with neighbouring countries are a two-way street. We will conquer you and overrun your pop charts with our state-subsidised pop music.

“Our stylish, sneering soldiers will overrun the continent before a year is out. Soon you will all know the genders of our nouns.”

German chancellor Olaf Scholz said: “We can’t really say anything, given you-know-who, and Spain’s worried they’ll bring up Franco. So it’s pretty much on Belgium.”