A LONDONER has discovered that you can simply claim you went to carnival and everyone believes you.
31-year-old Tom Logan had previously attended Notting Hill carnival in person but this year decided to stay home but lie to colleagues, which he has confirmed worked brilliantly.
He said: “Nobody really knows what happens at carnival anyway, and they’re afraid to ask in case they look racist. So it’s foolproof.
“I mentioned dancing to the Mastermind Roadshow sound system and drinking warm Red Stripe and everyone just nodded, knowing that’s the kind of thing you do at carnival, and didn’t press me for further details.
“Jane in HR asked if it was busy this year and I vividly described the crush of bodies from other years, while remembering how pleasant it had been to be alone on my sofa.
“To make it sound convincing, I complained that the jerk chicken hadn’t been as good as last year. Which it wasn’t. Definitely one of the poorer M&S ready meals.”