A MAN who claims to hate Doctor Who is going to spend the evening watching every second of it.
33-year-old fan Joshua Hudson has not enjoyed sitting through an episode of Doctor Who since the one where Peter Capaldi punched a wall, yet he will watch the new series out of a misguided sense of obligation.
Hudson said: “I can’t believe I’m going to be glued to this crap. Nobody’s forcing me to watch it, but once you’ve stupidly built your whole identity around a television show then you don’t have a choice. The die’s been cast.
“I predict it’ll be a formulaic episode where the Doctor and her friends defeat the Cybermen with the help of a famous historical figure like Ted Heath, all while slipping in a clunky political message for the intended audience of children.
“Will I enjoy it? No. Will I do something I actually like with my life? No. Will I record lengthy YouTube videos unpacking everything I hate about the new episode? Too f**king right I will.”
Logging into the Gallifrey Base forum to write a scathing review, he added: “The effects will be terrible, the plot will rely too much on continuity, and the acting will be piss-poor. I hope the BBC never cancels it.”