Saturday, 4th July 2020

Meghan to write self-help book about nightmare in-laws

THE Duchess of Sussex’s first financial venture will be a self-help book focused on co-existing with nightmare in-laws. 

The tome will feature advice on how to avoid conversations about race, sex, poverty, various historical genocides, the merits of heriditary rule and the ghastliness of Nicholas Witchell at the dinner table.

Meghan said: “Grandfather muttering about what Cecil used to say back in Rhodesia? Uncle remarking on the lovely young servant girl? I have been there.

“Whether it’s the brother-in-law making a pass over the dishes, the sister-in-law staring daggers or Uncle Edddie’s puppet theater, I’ve been through it all and survived.

“It’s ultimately about the day-to-day problems we all face in marriage, like the family business being prioritised over all else, realising that your spouse’s ancestry is 85 per cent Nazis, and the divine right of kings still somehow still being a thing for these people.”

The Duchess is expected to follow it with a series of children’s books about a gorgeous commoner who becomes a princess then fights an endless Hunger Games-style battle with the media.