Middle aged man unaware club playing all his favourite songs is having a retro night

A MAN who thought all his favourite songs were still cool and relevant was oblivious to the fact they were being played ironically.

Having ended up in a student nightclub following a work dinner, 47-year-old Martin Bishop was thrilled to discover that Britpop was still as popular as ever among the youth of the UK.

Pogoing to Blur’s Parklife, Bishop said: “I haven’t been in a nightclub in 20 years, but it’s exactly like I remember it. They even serve snakebite and black in here, which you don’t get in the Slug & Lettuce.

“It just goes to show that truly great art is timeless. Why else would they be playing Daydreamer by Menswear to a bunch of giggling teenagers?”

Sociology student Sophie Rodriguez said: “Given that I was born in 2003, I think it’s really important to attend these retro nights so I can find out what music was like in the previous millennium.

“It’s amazing to imagine our parents, or even grandparents, dancing along to these antique tunes. Just like that old twat over there.”

After being harassed by Bishop to play his requests, DJ Lauren Hewitt said: “Someone’s dad came up to me and started rambling about something called ‘Ocean Colour Scene’. It’s the first time I’ve ever been bored on ecstasy.”

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Old photos of you f**king hilarious

PHOTOS of you from the past make everyone laugh because you look like a total idiot, it has been confirmed.

Pictures of your younger self are inherently hilarious because you are sporting terrible haircuts and disastrous fashion choices which you clearly thought were a good idea at the time.

Your friend Nikki Hollis said: “As an almost middle-aged adult you’re pretty normal and boring looking. So imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered your various phases which have been caught on camera forever for generations to laugh at.

“Drainpipe jeans with your arse hanging out? Fringes which have clearly been cut with the help of a ruler? What, if you don’t mind me asking politely, the f**k did you think you were doing?”

Co-worker Tom Booker said: “At first I thought the old photos of you doing the rounds were a bit funny because I assumed your parents had dressed you like that. But when I was told you did that to yourself on purpose I started crying with laughter.

“I’ll never be able to look at you in the same way again. In fact I’ve lost respect for you altogether. My brain has erased everything it knew about you and replaced it with the nickname ‘twat who used to have a soul patch beard’.”