HORROR writer James Herbert has inked a deal with moths to write a horrifying account of their battle with mankind.
The clothes-eating insects have sold the novelisation rights to their species to the author of The Rats for an undisclosed six-figure sum.
Moth Nathan Muir said: “We will be working closely with James to bring the full horror of our murderous rampage to blood-soaked life. He really likes my idea that we lay our eggs in people’s hair and then little moths fly out of their noses.
“The front cover will be a really cool picture of a moth with skull-shaped patterns on its wings, all covered in blood. The strapline will be ‘They creep…they crawl…they fly…’ in big embossed letters under the title ‘MOTHS’.”
But fellow moth Emma Bradford said: “That strapline doesn’t even make sense. Creeping and crawling are effectively the same thing.
“Frankly I think this whole thing is an awful, larvae-brained idea. We should be working with a credible writer like Hilary Mantel on a sort of insect historical saga.
James Herbert’s spokesman said: “James is really excited about moths, they genuinely freak him out.
“He promises his younger fanbase that there will be plenty of gratuitous sex scenes using words like ‘cupping.”