‘My Tate Crack Hell’
A TOURIST who spent 53 hours trapped inside the huge crack in the floor of the Tate Gallery has described the moment he knew he wanted to die.
Tom Logan, 41, from Maidstone, fell into the crack on Monday afternoon, almost landing on top of art enthusiast Wayne Hayes, who had fallen in three hours earlier.
Logan told the Daily Mash: "I was scared of course, but also relieved that I wouldn't have to go through this on my own. Then he started talking about art.
"For the first 26 hours I wanted to kill him and for the last 26 hours I wanted to kill myself. Now I want to kill him again."
Logan said he had not realised the huge crack in the floor was actually an exhibit.
"Well, you wouldn't would you? You'd think to yourself, 'that's just a big hole in the floor and anyone who says it's art must be a right fucking monkey'."
He added: "I tried to steer the conversation towards holidays or cars but he just kept nodding and sucking on the leg of his specs.
"Then he started to talk about the 'intrinsic values of Experience Art' and I started to think about hitting him with my car. I don't suppose you know where he lives?"
Tate directors say the exhibit will be seen as a milestone in humanity's understanding of long, shallow holes.
Meanwhile the gallery's cleaning staff are threatening strike action over the crack, claiming it is rapidly filling with bits of stuff.