Netflix UK to add another show at some point

NETFLIX UK is to add another show to its line up, bringing the overall total to seven.

The streaming service has yet to confirm what the programme will be or when it will arrive, but early rumours suggest it could be the Canadian sketch show Log Cabinz, which pokes fun at Quebec hipsters.

Meanwhile, industry insiders claimed Netflix has ‘pushed the boat out’ and bought the rights to Mr Magoo IV starring Leslie Nielsen in a zany caper involving the Queen’s corgis and a priceless English scone stolen by the Bulgarian Mafia.

Netflix subscriber Emma Bradford said: “I heard it might be the third season of Only Fools And Horses. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

The new offering will be the first since last May when Netflix unveiled Fly On The Wall, a reality-nature documentary about the lives of flies on walls.

A Netflix UK spokesman said: “We’re determined to provide the finest two and three star rated film and TV entertainment outside of the VHS collection at your local video shop that closed in 2004.”

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Conservative Party still pretending it’s not completely f**ked

THE Conservative Party is continuing to pretend Brexit has not left it completely and utterly fucked.

As Conservative MPs accused each other of being insane and/or lying bastards, party insiders insisted everything was fine.

A source said: “Regardless of the outcome everyone will be friends again. That’s the way we do things in the Conservative Party.

“We’re not some band of ruthless maniacs who delight in the utter destruction of our close colleagues.”

Another senior source added: “There will be no murderous grudges or ruining of careers. There will be no civil war that will ultimately tear the party into tiny little pieces.

“It’s all going to be fantastic forever.”