New Radiohead album a series of party megamixes

THOM Yorke has confirmed his new album will be the perfect Ibiza soundtrack.

The next Radiohead release, rumoured to be called ‘Booze, Boogie and Banter’, will take the band in a new direction of uplifting Euro house and medleys of their favourite artists such as Roxette and Busted.

Yorke said: “This new one will really get the fans on their feet for a bit of a bop.”

Radiohead have been removing their presence from the internet, except for the bits where you can buy their stuff, and management say their new website, complete with Flash animations, sound effects and cartoon versions of band members, will be launched shortly.

Web designer Nikki Hollis said: “Thom was very clear on what he wanted – lots of bright colours, and fun interactive stuff like word searches and design-your-own album cover tools.”

Jedward have already been lined up to support them on their next tour and Yorke has promised that although they will play all the hits, they will be radically reworked to make them ‘more disco-friendly’.

Yorke added: “And it’s ‘Tommy’ Yorke from now on, thanks.”

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Birth of first child was rubbish compared to this, says Leicester fan

A LEICESTER City fan has confirmed that the birth of his first child was only a minor mood-lifter compared to last night’s title win. 

Steven Malley of Eyres Monsell, a father of three, admitted that he thought the moment his son entered the world was good at the time, but only because he had never experienced anything truly momentous. 

He continued: “I mean I’ve had three kids, so by the last one it was getting pretty routine. 

“I vividly remember the moment when my first, George, first filled his lungs with air and cried and tears filled my eyes, but I was over it in ten minutes. Not like last night. 

“The whole pub erupting in euphoria at Eden Hazard, a bloody Chelsea player for Christ’s sake, scoring in the 83rd minute and well, puts childbirth in its place really. 

“There are kids being born all over the world every day, but this is Leicester’s first title in their 132-year history, so just on the numbers it’s inarguable.” 

Malley added: “Mind you, I might have another one. Just so I can call it Claudio.”