ARTIFICIAL intelligence KITT from Knight Rider has been named as the new presenter of Top Gear.
The Knight Industries Two Thousand apparently has the perfect mix of automotive expertise, childish delight in high-speed thrills and political attitudes not updated since the 1980s to appeal to the show’s core audience.
A BBC insider said: “We did focus groups with Top Gear fans to find out more about what kind of people they’d respond most warmly to, and discovered that they don’t like people at all. They like cars.
“Unfortunately Bumblebee from Transformers is concentrating on movies, the General Lee’s in prison for hate crimes and Street Hawk has actually been living on the streets for the last 20 years, but KITT’s got great chemistry with Matt LeBlanc.
“We’ll just have to keep his hi-octane drinking habit a secret from the viewers, and obviously make sure none of his tirades about cheap Japanese imports make the show or it’d be Clarkson all over again.”
Viewer Norman Steele said: “That’s not right. They should have hired a British one, like Supercar.”