Newsnight exposed as news molester

NEWSNIGHT has been exposed as a serial abuser of perfectly decent news stories.

“Do you want to feel my handlebars?”

An investigation has revealed that BBC2’s flagship current affairs programme preys on vulnerable pieces of news, promising it will treat them well before totally ruining them.

A source said: “They trawl Britain for fresh stories and then fuck them up.

“They had this really good story about Jimmy Savile which was obviously true, but they just took it to some fancy place in London and stopped it from being on the telly.

“Then they interview this guy who claimed a bad Tory man did things to him, but at no point did they ask ‘are you absolutely sure about that?’ or ‘is this him?’.”

The source added: “Nobody knows why they do it. Perhaps their brains are diseased.”

Another source said: “I accidentally walked in on an editorial meeting and they had this story in the middle of the table and they were doing the most idiotic, half-arsed things to it.

“I didn’t say anything because I was scared I’d end up being interviewed by Newsnight and they would turn it into a big pile of shite.”

Meanwhile, a BBC spokesman said it was still not clear whether Jeremy Paxman is the ringleader or a hapless stooge.