BRITAIN’S men are worried that the renewed popularity of Kate Bush will lead to girlfriends becoming annoyingly otherworldly with an interest in billowy clothes.
With Running Up That Hill at number one in the charts, women are showing signs of wanting to be the 1980s singer known for her slightly pretentious fusion of music and dance, and being fancied by dads.
Tom Logan said: “My girlfriend Rachel used to like getting pissed and having a laugh. But yesterday I found her staring at a leaf. All she said was ‘It’s so sad that love, like all things, must die’.
“She’s started dressing like a gypsy fortune teller and bought a load of books about ghosts and fairies. Also she said her favourite baby names were Heathcliff and Cathy. So that was a terrifying double whammy.
“Boyfriends like me need to know if turning into Kate Bush can be treated. Maybe there’s a clinic where they reverse the feyness by getting women to drink pints of lager and have farting competitions.”
Kate Bush emulator Donna Sheridan said: “I’ve started staring at clouds a lot and expressing myself through dance. My boyfriend just tells me to get out of the way of the TV, but he’s not artistic like Kate and me.
“I’d advise women not to copy Kate’s Babooshka video though. As I discovered, if you’re a bit out of shape you can easily dislocate your knee, shoulder and pelvis.”