Page 3 returns with animal nipples

THE Sun has reinstated semi-naked females on its third page, but will stick with non-human species.

Today’s edition of the tabloid shows a sow called ‘Debbie’ who is described as being ‘from Stoke’.

A source at the newspaper said: “It’s a combination of mild titillation and learning about the natural world – something the whole family can enjoy.

“Next week we’ve got an ocelot that could be the new Lucy Pinder.”

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “Sexually objectified animals is one thing, but are they free range sexually objectified animals? That’s what I want to know.”

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Berahino 'not for sale' except if money involved

SAIDO Berahino will not be leaving West Bromwich Albion under any circumstances except in exchange for a large sum of currency, it has been confirmed.

Berahino has been linked with Liverpool and Tottenham in recent weeks, but West Brom chairman Jeremy Peace denied the 21-year old was for sale, unless somebody wanted to buy him with money.

Peace said: “We’ve slapped a ‘not for sale’ tag on Saido’s head, and on top of that tag we’ve slapped a smaller tag explaining that he would in fact be for sale in certain circumstances, namely, mucho dinero.

“We would never consider selling him for a lifetime’s supply of fresh eggs, or a timeshare in Marbella, or front-row tickets to see Kesha, and anyone making bids like that is wasting their time.”

“If we got a bid of actual money from, let’s say, FC Tottenpool, then I’d snap their hands off.

“But if they were wanted Saido in exchange for a once in a lifetime opportunity to swim with dolphins at Sea World Florida, then I’d have to say thanks but no thanks.”