Patti Smith's 'Piss Factory' is song of the summer

PATTI Smith’s 1974 B-side Piss Factory is the nation’s summer jam for 2015.

The proto-punk track, which details the avant-garde rocker’s time in a baby buggy manufacturer, has been the soundtrack to everybody’s pool parties, barbecues and long lazy hangouts at the beach.

19-year-old Donna Sheridan said: “Me and my girls have a thing when it comes on the radio, where we all put our left hands together, wiggle our fingers and shout ‘PISS FACTORY!’

“Then we all sing along, harmonising on the bit about ‘that odour rising roses and ammonia, and way their dicks droop like lilacs’.

“I mean I’ll probably be sick of it next year like with Blurred Lines, but it just goes with prosecco and partying in the fading, hazy sunshine so perfectly.”

Music blogger Stephen Malley said: “Every shop you go in, every car that drives past with its windows open, every bar and nightclub, they’re all playing ‘Piss Factory’.

“It’s no wonder the Patti Smith Group’s been booked to play T4 On The Beach, second on the bill to Aston Merrygold.”

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Corbyn to apologise for Blair's 'people's princess' bullshit

JEREMY Corbyn is to make an official apology for Tony Blair’s ‘people’s princess’ speech.

Corbyn believes the nation needs a heartfelt apology for Blair’s infamous descent into ‘sickeningly populist bullshit’.

He said: “To say that Diana was a princess of the proletariat is an oxymoron and implies that she enjoyed their company, which was emphatically not the case.

“Rather than satiate her decadent, aristocratic lusts with lathe operators, sheet metal cutters or dockers, she chose polo players, heart surgeons, and England rugby captain Will Carling.”

Corbyn will amend Labour’s official position on Princess Diana to ‘a privileged, upper class woman who was liked by some people’.

He also pledged to offer formal apologies for ‘Cool Britannia’ and that time Tony Blair played football with Kevin Keegan.