People who claim to have watched Twin Peaks mostly lying

MOST people claiming to have seen the original Twin Peaks series are not telling the truth, it has emerged.

“Oh yeah…him”

Following the announcement of a new series, television aficionados are bullshitting about having seen the first one when they were about four years old.

Web designer Roy Hobbs said: “I was bang into it. It’s weird, dark and there’s a dwarf in it.

“My favourite episode? Well…that’d be, probably, ‘Dwarf’.”

He added: “Clearly I am being dishonest, sorry I didn’t think we’d go into specifics.

“Now I feel ashamed.”

Plasterer Norman Steele lied about having seen the original Twin Peaks when asked by friends in the pub.

“My mate’s mate asked me if I had seen it and I just thought ‘You know what? I can get away with saying ‘Yes’ here’. So, I did.

“And I don’t think anyone noticed. I quickly changed the subject to Blue Velvet which I have seen.”

Twin Peaks creator David Lynch said: “This is going to be bigger than Breaking Bad, at least until about halfway through season one when it gets too confusing and everyone loses interest.”