Primark to be zone in new Crystal Maze

PRIMARK will be one of the zones in the new live version of The Crystal Maze, it has been announced.

Contestants must try to figure out how to get through the endless throngs of people in the budget clothing outlet without punching someone in the back of the head.

A spokesman said: “If they can buy a pair of socks in under 30 minutes without getting locked in, I’ll be very surprised.

“Perhaps the biggest obstacle is the several hundred people queueing to return leggings that turned out to be smaller than they had hoped.”

The Primark zone will replace the Ocean zone and if a success, the makers may even replace other zones: “Medieval zone could give way to a House Office Zone and Aztec zone could become simply ‘Wakefield’.’

“However in keeping with the classic TV series, the prizes will still be shit.”