BEING afflicted with same-song syndrome isn’t necessarily a barrier to success. These artists have discovered what works and are in no hurry to change it:
Sam Fender
Shouting in a tone of mild panic, always propelled by the same driving drumbeat, Fender races through his one song as if he desperately needs a crap and knows a sax break will cover it. Lyrically, he lists things he remembers like a musical Peter Kay and appeals to much the same audience.
AC/DC
Making 17 albums of single power chord riffs is a wilful lack of creative flair only an Australian band would have the balls to base a career on. Listening to two different AC/DC albums is like visiting the Burger King in Corley services and then visiting the Burger King on Swansea Union Street. They’re identical and to you, that’s consistency.
Nirvana
There’s a quiet bit during which life is shit, then a loud bit during which life is shit. The guitars always have the same texture because depression and/or heroin removes all motivation for knob-twiddling. Kurt Cobain ultimately shot himself as one final loud bit for the outro.
The Smiths
It’s a shame about Morrissey, because you really liked The Smiths. You’re particularly fond of that song with the jangly guitars and the witty, relatable lyrics about how sad you are because nobody loves you. Oh hang on, that’s all of them. Like a sulky teen refusing to leave his bedroom, The Smiths took a sound and sat glowering in it for five years.
Katy Perry
There’s a generic chord sequence and an anthemic, empowering chorus so it must be a Katy Perry song. But which one? ‘Baby you’re a firework, so you’re gonna hear me roar!’ Is that all one track? It’s what your eight-year-old daughter is singing, and if she can’t tell the difference why should you?
Mumford & Sons
Why bother writing lyrics when you can just quote Shakespeare and chant ‘Ohhh!’ for four minutes? The novelty of the banjo propelled them to flukey stardom so Mumford & Sons had valid commercial reasons for never varying their formula. Fans will disagree, pointing out that some songs go ‘Ahhh!’ instead.
