THERE is no experience available to humanity more shameful than finding another person attractive, research has found.
Although depicted in literature and music as a feeling that lifts the soul, actual sufferers of crushes report symptoms including anxiety, blushing, overheating and hyperawareness of their own face.
Tom Logan, who desperately fancies his colleague Grace Wood-Morris, said: “Oh God, it’s mortifying. Every evening is a catalogue of painful regrets. And this is meant to be good?
“When I’m scrolling her Instagram, listening to Dusty Springfield and imagining our life together it seems alright. None of that survives even fleeting contact with Grace. All I do is overthink and say idiot things and wish to sink painlessly into the earth forever.
“I’m 32 with a mortgage and moles. Do you know how humiliating it is to plan outfits? To change my email signature from ‘best wishes’ to ‘kind regards’ lest it betray my fluttering lovelorn heart? There should be a cut off of 18 for this sort of thing, like with acne.
“Today she offered me a cup of tea and I reacted like it was a marriage proposal. To be fair she was giving out blatant sexual signals such as wearing a nice jumper.”
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute of Studies said: “A crush creates anxiety by raising levels of stress hormone cortisol. It’s the body’s fight-or-flight response. And the answer is ‘flight’.”
