SOME songs have been resurrected more times than the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. And much like the films, every new iteration is somehow shitter than the one before.
Hallelujah
Leonard Cohen himself once admitted that too many people have covered this song. Each new warbling, saccharine, X Factor-style version leads us further from the original and deeper into musical Hell, where Star Trekkin’ and Grandad are on a permanent loop.
Imagine
Even before the criminally bad star-studded pandemic rendition, every John, Paul and Ringo had tried their hand at this song, transforming a once-moving plea for world peace into a bog-standard ‘nice tune’ that’s on one of your auntie’s Military Wives Choir CDs with no hint of irony.
Just Can’t Get Enough
The Saturdays wisely just copied this Depeche Mode hit which doesn’t lend itself to non-electronic interpretations, as the bossa nova version proves. Now there’s a veeery slooow advert-friendly acoustic version that defeats the point of it being catchy synth-pop in the first place, like playing Immigrant Song on a child’s xylophone. Well done, everyone.
Over The Rainbow
Since Judy Garland first sang it in The Wizard of Oz, Over The Rainbow has been murdered hundreds of times over, by serial cover version offenders like Cliff Richard and, probably most famously, that big Hawaiian bloke with the ukulele. We probably could have stopped after him. Or after Judy, frankly.
All Along the Watchtower
You’d think lesser artists would actively avoid a Bob Dylan track made famous by Hendrix. Plus Neil Young did it too, so how many versions do we actually need? A disco version, perhaps? However the many notable cover versions didn’t deter U2. That’s why true music lovers only listen to ‘the definitive Bono version’.
What A Wonderful World
No one has done a better version of this song than Louis Armstrong, but that doesn’t stop millions of YouTubers and even Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson from trying their hand at it. Our only hope is that the upcoming mass devastation caused by the climate crisis will stop people covering it. Every cloud, etc.
Valerie
It was originally by The Zutons and Amy Winehouse covered it and that was great – but we don’t need any f**king more versions. Your cousin’s mate’s band that did a wedding once certainly do not need to show us what a reggae-infused rendition would sound like, and we’re not just saying that because they’re white and from Nuneaton. Although it doesn’t help.
