ANYONE would go a bit strange if surrounded by witless fans, hangers-on and yes-men. But these artists really went the extra mile with their unhinged beliefs.
Professor Griff
Public Enemy’s Griff was big on vile anti-semitic conspiracies. ‘The Jews are wicked. And we can prove this,’ he claimed. Perhaps he had a special pair of callipers that measured wickedness. ‘Is it a coincidence that the Jews run the jewellery business, and it’s named jewellery?’ was another insight. Everything in that sentence is wrong, and a bit like claiming all blacksmiths were black.
David Bowie
Oh no, not lovely, creative, groundbreaking David Bowie, you’re thinking. Bad luck. He actually had quite a firm belief in witchcraft, and at one stage kept his urine in the fridge to stop witches stealing it. How that works is unclear. In his defence it may simply have been the result of taking vast amounts of cocaine. So that’s alright then.
Tom DeLonge of Blink-182
Serious study of UFOs began in 1952 with the US Air Force’s Project Blue Book. Since then there hasn’t been credible evidence of a single alien spaceship, so it’s hard to see why Mr DeLonge is bothering to research the subject. Perhaps he ought to start with the question ‘Why are there no clear photos when everyone’s got a bloody camera phone?’
Marcus Mumford of Mumford & Sons
The singer of this much-hated band litters his music with religious references, but he isn’t a Christian, he’s on some vague spiritual journey that nonetheless involves God. This sort of self-centred, wishy-washy, intellectually vacuous spirituality is typical of our age, and actually more irritating than straightforward Christian nutters who love the idea of unbelievers being tortured forever in the Lake of Fire.
Jimmy Page
Page bought Boleskine House on Loch Ness, once owned by Aleister Crowley, because it was an occult hotspot where supernatural beings would manifest. Naturally when Page moved in, not one demon could be arsed to pop round. It’s not even something you could sue the estate agent over: ‘I was hoping to be plagued by creatures of pure evil which to someone sane clearly don’t exist.‘
Kanye West
It’s dodgy to mock Ye because he obviously has mental health issues, but f**k it. He also suffers from a self-belief problem, frequently describing himself as a genius or his music as ‘perfect’. As he puts it: ‘My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.’ However it’s hard to feel genuine contempt for someone who comes out with comedy gold like: ‘Humbly, I would say I’m the most influential person in footwear right now.’
