IN MOVIES, even the most mismatched couples end up deeply in love forever. Here’s how those big-screen romances would have failed in reality:
Han and Leia in Star Wars
One overlooked aspect of Star Wars is that Han is constantly being a dick to Leia. She’s rich, beautiful and feisty but gets endlessly put down by a chippy smuggler. In reality, she’d have lost patience, said ‘F**k you, Solo’ and found someone better. Not Luke though, or Kylo Ren would have serious birth defects.
Vivian and Edward in Pretty Woman
The hooker and the asset stripper turned out to be very similar people underneath, which is to say they’re both out for what they can get. And when it comes down to it he’s got all the money and she hasn’t. She would do incredibly well out of the divorce.
Charles and Carrie in Four Weddings and a Funeral
Did you have difficulty remembering the characters’ names? That’s because they barely know each other. Realistically, a couple who bollocksed up every relationship they were in would have lasted six months, she’d have gone back to the States and he’d remain a bumbling arsehole. In Richard Curtis’s world you decide you’re in love and it’s fine. Real life isn’t so simple.
Holly and Paul in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Holly Golightly, as played by Audrey Hepburn, is quirky, spontaneous and interestingly troubled, ie totally exhausting to go out with. Two months after the end of the film Paul would have bailed.
Edward and Bella in Twilight
Edward and Bella had nothing in common except being bland vampires threatened by some other bland vampires. Once the final battle was over, they’d spend evenings sitting in silence watching the news and eating ready meals until one of them gets so bored they shag a werewolf.
Rose and Jack in Titanic
Not only is Rose similar to actual Kate Winslet in that she’s kind of pretentious and annoying, but in real-life survival situations ruthless self-preservation takes over. Jack would have tipped Rose into the freezing waters and claimed the door for himself. Audiences would have cheered. The whole bit with her as an old woman is a dream sequence.