THE situation in Kabul is heartbreaking. But when I wholeheartedly supported the invasion in 2001, you have to admit it was pretty bloody exciting and badass.
Yes, things are looking a bit tricky for the average Afghan, but spare a thought for Members of Parliament like me who, 20 years ago, had to take the agonising decision to line up and look resolute on TV before having a nice lunch.
We faced an enemy we didn’t understand in a country we know nothing about with confused military objectives. But when I stood up in the Commons and supported the war, I felt like Churchill dressed as Batman with a lob on.
The intel was conclusive. I saw a diagram of Bin Laden’s underground HQ in the Daily Mail and it was like something out of a Bond movie. Could we really risk another Blofeld on the loose?
My fellow MPs and I weighed the evidence, checked the press was in favour of our boys getting stuck in, and decided to do whatever the United States was doing. So you can hardly blame us.
No, the people to blame for this tragedy are Joe Biden, the BBC, faint hearts like Corbyn, whoever built all those great roads the Taliban are using and the Afghan president. My hands are clean.
I’d vote for exactly the same thing again without qualm, just as I did with Libya and Syria. Now let me get to the Members dining room before they run out of sea bass.