Six pop culture references that mean you're really old

WHEN you make an amusing pop culture reference does everyone just looks at you blankly? You could be very old. Find out: 

‘You’ve got an ology’

If qualifications or Maureen Lipman come up in conversation, this line from the famous 1980s BT advert may seem apt, but will just confuse anyone under the age of 35. As will the once-famous British Gas privatisation slogan, ‘If you see Sid, tell him.’

Shrinky Dinks 

Considered more valuable than diamonds by children in the early 80s, despite just being a bit of plastic you could shrink in the oven with a picture on, possibly a robot from The Black Hole. If younger acquaintances find it hard to understand the entire concept, they have a point.

That’s Life!

TV ‘magazine’ show burned into the brain of anyone over 40. In retrospect, lowest-denominator garbage with a habit of jumping from talking dogs and ‘jobsworth’ gripes to terminally ill children and people getting horrifically maimed by Spanish hotel lifts. Remembered mainly for cock-shaped potatoes.

The SDP

In the current political climate, you may think the Social Democratic Party is a relevant example of a failed centrist party, but mentioning the travails of David Owen, Shirley Williams, Roy Jenkins and the other one will make you sound older than Dracula.

Chopper bikes

Attempted to make a double-entendre based around the popular child’s bicycle the Chopper, and now trying to explain what one was to an unsmiling 28-year-old woman in HR? Maybe don’t try to do that again.

Blake’s 7

A great way to prove you are old and a hopeless geek to boot. Any normal young person will have no idea what Terry Nation’s overambitious sci-fi series was, and, if they look it up on YouTube, wonder how the 1970s were survived by anyone.

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Biggest cash crop now glamping

BRITAIN’S main agricultural crop is now yurts, tipis, gypsy caravans and shepherd’s huts.

The crop, which pays large dividends from middle-class families who like the outdoors but would never sink so low as to sleep in tents, now covers 68 per cent of British arable land.

A Department of Agriculture spokesman said: “We wanted to find out how long we could survive on home-grown food in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Turns out until a week Wednesday.

“But we’ve got a healthy surplus of accommodation slapped into the middle of a field that’s wooden, vaguely Scandinavian and costs a fortune.

“The UK’s farms are now in the business of milking families stringing up fairy lights and shooing kids called Chloe and Noah to plywood shower blocks with mini tubes of toothpaste from their BA in-flight travel kits.

“The chief harvest is in summer, for the weddings, but there can be great yields even in winter from aspirational Guardian-readers promised a real wood fire.”