Six shite quizzes to clog up everyone's social media

WANT to clog up everyone’s feeds with self-absorbed time-wasting? Here are six pieces of crap you can share today:

Which star did YOU resemble in the Eighties?

After a solid half-hour trawling your hard drive for photos that the algorithm doesn’t spit out as Leo Sayer, you find a picture from 2006 that apparently resembles Jennifer Aniston and proudly post. Nobody is fooled for even a second.

Are you in the top 5 per cent of clever people? Only one in 20 of your friends passed this IQ test…

If that’s true then your friends are thicker than a Texan’s turd because this is piss-easy.

You definitely don’t know the meaning of these six words! Those that do have the highest IQ in the UK.

Again? That site is now playing you with cheap reverse psychology. It says underneath you have an IQ of 170. Perhaps get a second opinion before writing to NASA.

What does your name mean?

You’ve posted your unfeasibly flattering results in full, so people will nod and murmur ‘Yes, Sophie really is a gentle goddess, with the heart of a lion. I should know, I used to work with her.’

‘Being you’ challenge! Share 10 photos, one each day, that describe what it’s like to be you. No explanation, just a picture.

Imagine doing this with actual photographs. Imagine how ashamed you’d be by day five passing around the tawdry photos of your crappy life.

This is so funny!!! Don’t cheat!! You have to do this!

Follow these random but annoyingly complex instructions to get a pointless fake list of who amongst your friends you would take on holiday, who would get the most drunk and who would rather be punched in the face than suffer another one of these posts.

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Man yet to own a car his dad respects

A MAN in his mid-30s has yet to impress his father with the car he drives, he has admitted. 

Joe Turner has been driving since 1995 but is still waiting for his choice of motor vehicle to be greeted with anything but stunned horror.

He said: “I don’t care about cars really, but I can’t tell Dad that or he’d disown me.

“When I came home in my first car, a 1983 Nissan Bluebird, he didn’t speak to me for two days. Told me that he just felt like he’d wasted all these years.

“The Yaris was ‘too practical’. The Focus was ‘a muppet’s vehicle’. Even when I had that old Alfa Romeo for six months, he told me I’d made a twat of myself and people at traffic lights pity me.

“When I hired that car in Ireland he was horrified. Kept saying driving ‘another man’s car’ wasn’t ‘right’. If I tell him I’m getting a Prius next he could have a stroke.”

He added: “My wanker brother-in-law drives a Jag, and Dad thinks the sun shines out of his arse.”